I consider myself to be fairly intelligent but I'm no too sure I see it. The not helping out aspect was pretty much the case throughout the 11.5 years. Whereas the needy and clingy (and I need to add jealous too) was just towards the end. The only thing I can think of is if you mean I was focusing too much on her (in the wrong way) and not the entire family. If that's what you mean than you are correct. Not to go back and defend my actions but one more thing I forgot to add is when your spouse tells you, and everyone else that she knows, that you are the "dynamic duo" and make a great team that leads the H (me in this case) to believe that all is well. I do admit that I did not have my focus in all the right areas but I did more than my fair share in many others.
