Welcome! I also am new here and have an in-house seperation with my husband (initiated by him....MLC pretty sure.) I'm no expert but sounds like you are doing pretty good on the being light & pleasant around him part. I've found DB to be such a very helpful book but also in addition I am using another set of audio files/book that has helped me see the mistakes I made in the marriage and given me more detailed ideas on what I can do 180s on. My husband seems to be responding to the changes positively but taking it slow...who knows what tomorrow holds.
Basically some of the 180s I've been making are: * Meet him at the open door with a pleasant greeting when he comes home. * Tell the children that they need to wait when they try to interrupt husband talking to me after work about his day. * Listen to husband and try very hard to support his side of things...no providing advice at all to him unless he specifically asks (which he doesn't.) * Letting all the little things hubby does slide off my back that in the past I would have made a negative comment about. * Show and voice honest appreciation for any little or large nice thing that hubby does. (This is so hard for me but is soooo important!) * If I ask my husband for his opinion of a choice or situation (what to get for dinner, how to handle a situation, things like that) even if I don't like his answer that much - I accept it and give it a try. (Honestly haven't regreted trying his advice.)
I don't know your marriage or if you had any similar issues as to what I now look back and see I did...but if any of this seems to apply to changing the past dynamics of your marriage, give it a try.
