I do however believe he is too blinded to see that clearly enough to admit it.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
well, last night I took my kids to my H...Tuesdays he gets them for a few hours. He was at my parents house helping my dad with a fridge for the house....Thankfully my parents and him get along fine...I took the kids there and stayed a few and then told him I was leaving. Said I needed to go run a few errands. After I left, he texted me and said "are you in a hurry to go see your boyfriend?".
??? Ok, I dont have a boyfriend. We all know that. I replyed to him "yea, and Im meeting him at the grocery store!" Then I texted him and said it wouldnt matter to him if I had a boyfriend or not. He replyed "you dont know that". SO then I couldnt resist, I asked "would it bother you if i did". He said "yes".
Then he brought the kids home later and he mentioned that again...I asked him why it would bother him and he said "I dont know" His favorite phrase.
Ok, I know why It would bother me for him to have a girlfriend, but why should it bother him for me to have a boyfriend if he doesnt want to be with me.....
THere was a time in the beginning of our separation that he said he thought it would be great if I had a boyfriend and he would like to see me happy with someone and it wouldnt bother him abit!
What's different now?
Last edited by kissak; 09/16/0907:43 PM.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
What's different? I'll tell you.....you are. You aren't the lonely, depressed, sad woman who was pining away for him in the beginning. You are now strong and confident, handling your own life and that of your kids without his interference. He now has no one in his life and probably realizes how insignificant he is in the grand scheme of things. He's not needed and that freaks him out.
Kissak, my XH is constantly dropping hints and questions to me about someone he saw me with a while ago. I let him think what he wants. It's interesting that he would care since he's the one that left and has been living with his GF ever since. Men are stupid! They want things tied up in a nice, tidy little bow in the order they want it.
IGNORE HIM!
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
Ignore him....lol....Im trying to! SOmetimes I have to laugh at it, but other times I just cant figure him out.
He mentioned the other night how he would love to take a bath and just soak! lol, all he has in that camper is, well a little shower. I have this big garden tub at my house that he USE to enjoy every time he wanted to soak! WEll, after he said he would love a bath, I said "well, you have a nice big bath tub here every night that I GET TO ENJOY!!!" To bad for him. I do like to rub that in his face alot!
AND your right, I am not that pitiful woman he left almost 3 years ago. I dont beg and plead and tell him how much I miss him. I am much more confident and independant....
AND!!! I hit my 60 POUND weight loss mark this morning!!!!!!!!!
Im not only confident and all that, IM LOOKING much better!!! Its fun to make him drool a little now! haha
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
It is sweet! Today he told me he was actually Jealous that other guys were wanting to date me! haha...oh well, be jealous all you want!!
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
I need some advice on how to handle jealousy...not mine, but my H's.
Its going on 3 years in December that we have been going through this separation. Things are better in a way, but only because there is no OW right now. Our R is good for the most part. Only my H has not made any steps towards moving home. OR towards a divorce.
Im at a point where Im ready to just get things going one way or the other. Ive almost talked myself into asking him to go and file the paper work for our separation at least...just to get things going.
That is not what I want, but he hasnt changed and honestly if he did, im almost certain I would never trust him and Im afraid I would be miserable trying.
THing is, if I even try to talk to any other man, just a friendly hello, or comment on my fb will set him off! He starts acting all ticked off at me, but wont come right out and say why and its really irriating me and Im not quite sure how to handle it...I mean, he doesnt want to be with me, so why cant I try to be happy???
ANd NO, my H is not a friend on my page...he actually is friends with a few of the guys I talk to...well, I dont think their friends, I just think its a way to keep up with me.
How do I handle this in a nice loving way? Or can it not be done. I mean Im at the point where we either need to make a decision to try to work things out and get back together or just go file....time to move somewhere with all of this! I mean 3 years???? Im ready.
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
Ok then.....if you're ready.....why don't you go file? Why does he have to be the one to do it?
Yes, he left initially, but now it's all about you. What do you truly want? If you want your M then tell him that. You are going to have to be the one to force the issue. Frankly, he's quite content to have you hanging on a line waiting to be reeled in with a crook of his finger if he wants while not having to be a committed H and full time father. He's loving it - regardless of what it seems like. He's gotten everything he asked for...what have you gotten out of this?
Strength. Fortitude. Self-confidence. Wisdom.
What more do you need? It's not a matter of he 'won't' move forward one way or the other, it's a matter of you haven't made him. 3 years? It could end up 5-10. Are you really ready for an extended sentence in limbo hell?
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!
WEll, Mishka...I guess Im just afraid of making the decision myself, because I do still question it. And no matter what he has done to me, I still dont enjoy hurting him....and maybe thats what Im afraid of too. Its just a battle in my head right now.
My heart is telling me to wait it out, but my head is saying something very different...and I know the heart is a decietful thing! But, Im not sure what I would do if I went forward with it and he did everything he could to get me back, from begging to who knows?? I have to be prepared for that you know?
I guess this is where Im being like my H, I want him to make the choice and not me! It would be so much easier if I didnt like the man!! lol
Kissak
"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3 M-37 H-37 S-10, D-15 M- 1993 First bomb- 12/23/06 Came and went too MANY times! Gone again 10-25-10
