Look at why you were attracted to someone like your wife in the first place. Not just everyone is attracted to borderline type women.
Hi breakaway.
Is there a reason you used borderline here instead of bipolar? Have you been following this thread?
Just wondering - T
You said back at the beginning that your counselor thought she had BPD tendencies, but the psych didn't. bipolar can get better with meds, borderline won't, because it's a personality disorder. So time will tell you a lot. She could be both.
The last thing I'm going to say about this is, is that there is such a thing as winning the battle and losing the war. I think it's a colossal waste of time and energy to engage in dating as a way to get your wife to come home, as a manipulative tactic. Because that's all it would be.
If she's borderline...then, yes, jealousy would probably work like a charm, because if you've been studying that, that it is a hot button for them, they can be irrationally jealous and terrified of abandonment regardless of their own abandoning types of behavior. So you could probably activate that fear and bring her home. So f**king what? That's all it would be.
Then I guess you could be like some guys and lord it over her and keep that fear going all the time that you are a great catch, she's not really worthy of, and she always stands to lose you and she'd better know her place in the relationship. You could probably even make her pay for the marriage counseling if you worked it just right. That sounds great, doesn't it?
A borderline comes home from jealousy?? That's like getting a dog to come home because it's hungry. Whoopteedoo. You've solved nothing. That's just a kneejerk reaction to her deepseated insecurity. Then it's just a matter of time until it happens again.
I believe a comment was made somewhere that this technique worked "to get my wife to do what I wanted." Well...if that's the kind of person you are.
That sounds great, doesn't it?
