Does anyone else have a hard time being "selfish?" It's not about Her. I'm not worried about what she'll think about what I'm doing or anything. I was like this before Her. It's like there is something inside my head that says anything "just for me" is wrong somehow.
Yep, hard time for me, too. One of the many things I have been working on. That's why dbing is a good thing. Makes you think about stuff. But it also helps you focus on you. What you want, what makes you happy, what changes you want to make.
And there is nothing wrong with us thinking about ourselves. Nothing at all.
If you don't take care of yourself, how the hell are you going to be able to take care of other people?
You ever have an epiphany?
It is a beautiful word, and the meaning I am using here is this one:
: a usually sudden manifestation or perception of the essential nature or meaning of something (2) : an intuitive grasp of reality through something (as an event) usually simple and striking (3) : an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure b : a revealing scene or moment
I was listening to Social Distortion's "I Was Wrong" and the lyrics that jumped out and seized me: "But, how can you love when you don't love yourself?"
How can you? Without that fundamental ability to love yourself or treat others without being able to treat yourself...it is hollow no matter how good, it is lacking.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
I was listening to Social Distortion's "I Was Wrong" and the lyrics that jumped out and seized me: "But, how can you love when you don't love yourself?"
How can you? Without that fundamental ability to love yourself or treat others without being able to treat yourself...it is hollow no matter how good, it is lacking.
Right. You can't give what you don't have.
I think you believe that not giving ALL you have is selfish. It isn't.
Let me give a real example. I've been looking for pants. I go to mall. I try them on. I like them. I can afford them. Then, something in my head goes, "but you don't really need them. You're just being ..." well, selfish isn't the right word, but it is close. I don't think it is about self-love. I love myself. Often. Hahaha. Ahem, I digress.
I like me. Really. I can do things for me. I just don't ... and I don't know why. This last trip was the first vacation I've had in years. I'm just trying to figure out my own head is all. It's not a crisis or anything. Just something that hit me. Mach (may he be returned to us shortly) and I were talking about this very thing earlier today. I don't know why I have done this in the past. I know I'm gonna try to stop. More time-off is in order, of that I am sure. Just thinking out loud.
Mach made the good point that this process of self-discovery is very similar to the MLC spouses we have, minus the self-deceit, lies, cheating and all the other crap they goes along with them. Doing for me ... purely for me b/c I like it ... opens up some long dormant parts. I can feel it. I think it is tied with that feeling I mentioned earlier about something shifting within me. A few days of just doing things for me was good ... opens the door for more of that. Good stuff!
MW, I know exactly what you mean. I do the same kinds of things. And you're right, selfish isnt exactly the right word,but, I dont know what word describes it.
I always say, I am learning so much on this journey. Just wish I could have learned it a different way.
Realizing our self worth and our purpose in this world, finding out what makes us happy, and making the changes necessary to become the best person we can be, all part of the journey, my friend.
By the way, Mach is around if you look around.
Oh yeah, and the loving yourself, often thing. Too much information. Just sayin'. LOL
