Thanks Coach! I'm glad to hear a different opinion. I've always thought that dating when you were M was wrong but I think my opinion is in the minority. I think there is allot of bad that can come out of adding a third or forth dimension to an already strained R. Not arguing if it is effective in the short term as jealousy can be very powerful. What troubles me is it is very manipulative among other things.
it's also counter intuitive along with so many things that need to be done to get your spouse to rethink what they're doing. Buying them gifts won't get them to change their mind, being nice to them won't do it either. What's the message you communicate to the WAS when they're having an affair with another person and while they're doing this, you're super nice to them. Personally I think it communicates "Hi I'm a pea brain, I'll be nice to you even though you walk all over me like a door mat and are actively cheating on me and not even hiding it anymore"
Counter intuitive.
Do something that is the opposite of what you were thinking of doing.
Buying gifts > don't buy anything for them. Call them regularly > don't call them at all, in fact go silent for 3-4 weeks if possible, I mean really dark. Sit at home & wait for them > go out and date other people
The list goes on & on.
Counter intuitive - do the opposite. They expect you to try & win them back by using wimpy, wussy behavior and supplicating them/enabling them and their crap behaviors - that isn't attractive and it certainly doesn't command respect.
