Oh god, that is exactly the same as my ex. We started to do all kinds of stuff together and then I pushed on her a bit. She said she was uncomfortable as she felt I had expectations more than friends....well of course I did. Anyway, I ended us going out. It just became too painful. I also realized that I was initiating the invites. I think that is the problem. Unless the WAW is the one asking to go out then you are setting yourself up for a pile of hurt. I too took my ex on my new motorcycle. It was not so good as she didn't want to hug me to hang on. Sorry, I don't have any answers. I feel for you my friend.
Me/W: 46/36 D7.6/S6 T/M: 7.5/6.5 Bomb 12/05/07 D final: 03/03/09
Oh god, that is exactly the same as my ex. We started to do all kinds of stuff together and then I pushed on her a bit. She said she was uncomfortable as she felt I had expectations more than friends....well of course I did. Anyway, I ended us going out. It just became too painful. I also realized that I was initiating the invites. I think that is the problem. Unless the WAW is the one asking to go out then you are setting yourself up for a pile of hurt. I too took my ex on my new motorcycle. It was not so good as she didn't want to hug me to hang on. Sorry, I don't have any answers. I feel for you my friend.
yeah I think the problem is OM is still around for now.... bet once she moves in with mom and dad ALL interest will soon fade she still likes to hug me alot and I mean like WTF trying to hurt me tight hugs LOL. like I said hugs arnt cheating (roll eyes) thats funny back in july she was ridding with me and was not hugging me, she would put her hands on the tank just so we didnt touch. now on the bike she will hug me real tight then start playing with my jacket a little. i guess we did hold hands a little too! started as helping her up a hill and she never let go I was the one who said something about if this was really helping and let go.
I doubt anyone has an answer other than OM needs to be out of the picture. then what? im back up? man idk why im so pissed again but im keeping a happy face on around her
oh yeah she hates smokers yet OM smokes so much W just smells like it 24/7 and when we went to eat the first time W says non smoking then turned to me and says nope i dont smoke so.... this OM is her match for sure
i better read DB again befor i say something I will regret
aww man, I thought he was gone! Oh well, Im sure that when he still has to sleep at his mom and dads house he wont think that shes so cool anymore.
If she chooses to do something like hold your hand, I would go for it, as long as it doesnt hurt you. Dont try to be her rescuer when she gets booted from her place, I would just support her moving in with her parents, but not so much as to help her move.
I hope that things continue to go well!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
wow just one surprise after another for me! and thats with stuff other than W (one thing is my parents pissed me off and we are fighting)
yeah she was freaking out in court yesterday. and ofcourse the judge keeps giveing her chances. my lawyer is pissing me off.
so her power got turned off but she was getting it back on that day, I guess she is moving out at the end of the month. or should i say "let out of her lease"
she wants to bring over the kids stuff this weekend and a few things she took that I would like since she wont be needing like some of the pots/pans.... we broke up a very nice set when she left.
she now says she might not live with her parents but in her van WTF? she did say she just could not live in our house again she says she does not know why just that she cant
but will watch the kids on the days off of school comming up.
she kept asking for hugs she says she really likes my hugs????
I guess that maybe she needs to hit rock bottom... living in a van in Wi in the winter? Thats an awesome idea... Gonna take out a few seats so the kids can play in the back?
I dont think that shes going to live in the van, I think that shes fishing to be saved. Maybe she is just mentioning it, but seriously, I just dont think that its going to happen, its just not very realistic. Of course, She could absolutely intend to live in the van, who knows.
If she were going to come home, what would you need from her? Can you set that as a goal?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
1) You kind of sound like the "friend" that's waiting in the wings for his chance with a girl he likes.
2) She sounds like the girl that dangles several guys so that she can go on fun dates, meanwhile she holds you at bay with "just friends". Is that enough for you?
3) Your efforts are transparently an attempt to woo her back and are essentially pursuing. Imagine...your wife is cheating on you and yet you are the one chasing her..WTH? I would now give her a period of minimal contact (except her seeing and talking to the kids). Let her wonder what you are doing.
4) You are the fallback plan. Her life is imploding and she has you on a little "just in case" leash. If worse comes to worse, she can always bat her pretty eyelashes and you'll take her back.
5) Doesn't this all make you feel kind of ishy?
You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with. Dr. Wayne Dyer
1) You kind of sound like the "friend" that's waiting in the wings for his chance with a girl he likes.
2) She sounds like the girl that dangles several guys so that she can go on fun dates, meanwhile she holds you at bay with "just friends". Is that enough for you?
3) Your efforts are transparently an attempt to woo her back and are essentially pursuing. Imagine...your wife is cheating on you and yet you are the one chasing her..WTH? I would now give her a period of minimal contact (except her seeing and talking to the kids). Let her wonder what you are doing.
4) You are the fallback plan. Her life is imploding and she has you on a little "just in case" leash. If worse comes to worse, she can always bat her pretty eyelashes and you'll take her back.
5) Doesn't this all make you feel kind of ishy?
well everyone sorry ive been off of here for sometime but worse got worse here are the cliff notes....
I had something come up and I asked her to take the kids for a bit she refused (guess she had just got a 5 day notice for her apt)and we started fighting bad (texts then on the phone then texts phone ect) well she started this (I would be better off dead stuff) then very long conversation short she says its too late i took XXXXX waiting for it to kick in tell the kids i loved them.
well im like 2 hours away and I forword the text to her mom her mom calls yells at me for not calling the police, i tell her well how do i know? thats why i told you asap.
so I end up going to W apt. police are all over she's passed out in her bathroom on what ever she took no one can get more than a mone out of her.. the police bust her roomate for drugs and stuff then they find W's stash of perscription drugs so they haul her to the hospital then when she was awake they send me in to talk W goes nuts on me tells me to leave hates me ect
later MIL tells me W is going to another hospital for a 72 hour hold per the state
i told MIL not to tell me how or where W is anymore im now washing my hands of her crap! MIL is nice says she agrees its just crap and does not blame me one bit but keeps saying for now... huh they sure have hope IDK why
then MIL texts me two days later saying W's consoler does not want me to contact W but MIL says "we already knew that"
then yesterday W calls for the kids and daughter answered phone and all the kids talked to her (number was one with area code for the city she was sent to) kids said they are told to write letters and pictures for W then daughter says W is calling the school to talk to there consoler to say what she "has"???
IDK im confused but I think she is staying commited for awhile now getting the help she needs I hope
Oh WL, Im so sorry. What a mess the WAWs make for themselves. I agree that its good news that she is getting the help that she needs, but Im so sorry that this is how it happened.
You probably saved her life by calling when you did, so good job there.
And Im not sure how to say it, so Ill just say it, Im glad that you hit the end of your rope. I think that thats the point that we need to get to sometimes before we can really start to heal from the terrible things that happen when a M starts to disintegrate.
Again, Im sorry, ((((WL))))
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
here are the cliff notes....