Couple of things tonight. First, we are having a nice time after we got kids down (S was acting up a bit today and night). W says, hey just wanted to give you an update on some balances (referring to a couple of loans associated with my business we closed late last year). "YOU owe XX on this one. YOU owe XX on this other one." What?! ME?!?! W had no problem accepting the income from the business, but when it's time to repay some debt, it becomes solely MY obligation?
But W did continue after the "You owe..." bit to say after "WE" pay this one then "WE" can pay this one. WHAT?! You just said those were MY burdens.
OK, not going to lose it, even though I can fee some resentment and anger coming back to the surface. And, maybe I'm off base here. Not shirking my responsibility, but I view these obligations as WE obligations, not MINE ALONE. Again, if I'm wrong, let me have it. I can take it.
Second, after some pleasant conversation (and undercover deep breathing by GIMA), W mentions that my step-mother and my brother's W (both of our SIL) have not spoken to her in ages. That she has not heard back from them about whether my niece is coming to my D's birthday party, and that she has not received thank you notes from SIL for presents W has sent my neice. W was not angry, but I could detect displeasure in her voice. More a sense of being put out than hurt.
Now, I haven't talked to my SIL or step mother in a while either. But, they are aware of our sitch, and my W knows this. I know that they simply don't know how to act towards W. I know they both do not approve of the way W has acted - remember folks, they aren't here on the boards, so they don't understand the WAS concept. And, in the end, they are MY family.
I simply told W I would check with my SIL and step mother to make sure the presents had arrived and to see if neice was coming to D's party. I also told W I had not spoken to them in some time as well, which is the truth.
I readily admit I was angry over the "YOU owe this much" bit, and I honestly didn't even want to be in the same room as W, much less talk to her. I'm better now.
Don't know if she was baiting me into an argument or what that was. Maybe she is hurt my step mother and SIL haven't reached out to her, but what did she expect them to do - "Oh, we know you are ripping GIMA to shreds, and we don't like that, but can we get together like old times and just have lunch or something?"
I know I am sounding petty. I don't mean to be. I was just taken a little off guard. I didn't react, but I'm sure she probably noticed I was quiet tonight (and honestly, I'm pretty beat from a stressfule few days at work). I told her my head hurt, that I was tired (all true) and was hitting the hay. The usual "Good night. Sleep well. Se you in the morning."
