Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

If she's anything like my XW, I'm sure much of your wife's rationale is due to the fact that there's a conflict between her selfish urges and repressing the adult. Anytime someone can't reconcile "unacceptable behavior" with what they know is acceptable and mature....they flip out. It's almost a stage they go through when they start to realize that maybe they are making very bad choices and hurting alot of people, even though they may have been neglected in the past.

SG,

Interesting point. I definitely think that my W is doing something in this regard to bolster her decision to push forward with D'ing me. I would have to suspect that some of her friends and/or family members are also "helping" her reconcile her current perspective and behavior as well but to what degree I don't know.

Once they actually do wake up and realize how damaging thier behavior was, it could be too late. My XW is just now at this point. I see her lurking around the edges of my new life. Talking to my mutal friends and trying to stick herself out there for me to see. Not knowing what's going on with my life is driving her nuts. These are the effects of dropping the rope. I only wish it was possible to do this before the divorce so she could have trully seen what it would be like without me and that there are very few men like me out there.

I see my sitch heading in the same direction. I understand now that whatever is going on with my W and her current thinking about me and our MR is going to take a LONG time to resolve itself. I think a lot has to do with de-programming- I think that in many respects my W has really self-brainwashed herself- about the OM, about me, about us and our MR. Outside of professional help, I don't believe that there is anything that I can do for my W at this stage. All I can do now is look out for my kids and I and let my W experience the consequences of her actions.