Frank is right - he has no one to blame but himself for the mess and you should know that.
Writing those emails to him may actually be more beneficial to you than just making yourself unload your feelings. As you stated, a normal person reading those emails would want to commit suicide. I think those emails have added to him feeling pretty darn low right now. He may be stalling some, but more out of feeling like [censored] about himself causing the ultimate breakup of his family. It may be that his guilt could allow him to be more generous in the financial aspect of your divorce.
My mother had tremendous guilt when her affair was caught and she did not ask for any assets or support or custody because of the guilt that she was walking out on her family for the other guy.
