Slow and steady wins the race and it seems that is all working for you. I love that you can have little flirty moments all the time, I think that's great.
Call with DB Coach JoAnn was great. She listened to all that's gone on and was blown away. She validated me over and over and told me what a wonderful job I've been doing. We did talk about some specifics, about the importance of listening and validating, but in general, her advice was to keep doing what I'm doing and to not be afraid of the impending R talk.
So basically, same as what you folks have been saying!
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
ROFL!! Yeah, I was thinking I needed to upload some virtual cash for all of you.
(Commence lolspeak)
Here, hav sum muneez...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@<---------------quarters, or Oreos. Take your pick.
Last edited by Dia; 09/16/0909:29 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Call with DB Coach JoAnn was great. She listened to all that's gone on and was blown away. She validated me over and over and told me what a wonderful job I've been doing. We did talk about some specifics, about the importance of listening and validating, but in general, her advice was to keep doing what I'm doing and to not be afraid of the impending R talk.
So basically, same as what you folks have been saying!
Really? Seems like everything your doing is wrong. Just kidding. You could write DB2.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
For the R talk, she said the most important things were:
1) to listen and validate first and foremost
2) to be ok with stepping away or taking a break if something upset me
3) to be clear and calm about any of my own needs and boundaries
For anyone who wonders, yes, DB Coaches will work with both spouses, either separately or in the same session on a conference call. And yes, the confidentiality expectation is the same as regular therapy, meaning that the Coach will not reveal what one person says in session w/o that person's permission. If the Coach is working with both spouses, s/he might *ask* if they can share something with the other spouse, but unless you say yes, they won't reveal it.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Really good to hear that your DB coach says your doing fine, it also gives us some confidence that we are reading the book right and moving on ok in our sitch's. Im rather tempted to see if H will agree to me having some councelling, he owes me that at least but its not going to be the sort of councelling he is expecting lol.
____________________________
W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
