So would binviting single moms over for playdates (for the children I mean) be considered dating?
tristan was the first one to suggest this!
And have decided against it for the reasons stated above.
What? that it might be the most successful technique to bust your separation?
If my extreme example offends you, well, this thread needs an extreme example. Everytime I read this situation, I am reminded of your first post and this comment:
Quote:
So my problem is this: I know she still talks to the OM daily (often 2 or 3 times). I am suspicious (but can not confirm) that she has seen him a couple of times over the past 2 weeks as well. After she crashed because of the allergic reaction, I was giving her a pass on the OM (she was essentually a mental mess). However, I know this EA has to end before we can fully heal. Since I have stopped talking about the OM, things have been getting better.
Giving your wife a "pass" to carry on an affair because of an allergic reaction? That to me seems EXTREME! That doesn't work. What did it get you? She moved out a month later. Its pretty naive to think your kids wont be introduced to this OM in the near future. At least she will have a few "dates" under her belt beforehand. 'wacko nut burger. ' jeez.
I dont remember suggesting you get romantically involved with someone and introduce her to your kids as their new step-mother. And I fail to see how one or a few social interactions means "it" inevitably has to work out. "It" usually doesn't. I didn't think that was the goal here. Rather your wife needs a wake up call. 2 years is an awfully long time to carry on a Emotional/'kissing' affair with someone all the while stringing you along. I taught your play date idea was a very good one. One that would work in your situation. Maybe I shouldnt have said Red Robin. That ruined it I quess. It must convey that you are having sex without protection and trying for children. It doesnt matter it was an extreme example to convey an important point. What matters is that you have the tools in front of you; you need to use them effectively to save your marriage. You can do alot of damage to destroy her fantasy early in this transition, marriage >> separation >> divorce. This new romance and the emotions associated with it need to be conquered even at the expense of seeming immature, juvenile and high schoolish. There are storys of women who travel half-way across the country to cheat on their husbands with Internet chat room partners on this bulletin board. That alone should tell you the power of these emotions and chemicals. By no means would I sit back and watch that happen in my marriage. If someone is to consider me a wacko nut job or immature man for going to extremes to save my marriage. So be it. As long as they are not telling me to sit back patiently while my wife drifts through the 'fog' and wait it out till her lover becomes sexually bored with her. (put nicely).
