Lost,
I'll tell you, what I have told others. Join some meetup.com groups. Socialize with others.

I am concerned for your kids. What does the counselor say about your hubby not contacting your son and only your daughter? Very hurtful.

Have your legally sought a financial agreement like I mentioned earlier? I recall you saying that hubby earned double but contributed nothing and you were taking extra work on your second job. I am thinking that working less and being around more for the kids would be helpful to them. Plus you are entitled to some money from hubby.

I wonder if you are afraid that seeking money will push him further away. Well, right now he is living consequence free. Why would he change anything. Just my thoughts.

M38, H37
S3, S7
Together 15 yrs
Married 8 yrs
Bomb July 2008
Inhouse separation
"I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count)
Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)