Is my wife a WAW or is this a MLC? thx2brs

[are you kidding]

So anyway with a counselor not calling back and having all the facts.

What do you think is the best way to ask the MLC?

And I have here to vent.

How do I ask MLC for a better suggestion?

[are you kidding]

This is what I think made her want to come back. I sent this 9/1...

She went from wanting to be alone,to be home and comfortable. That night.

The kids and the house are great; you don’t need to worry about anything!

I’m sure she's still feeling her way around a bit, but she is opening up to me like never before and bless her she’s not being so darn mean. And she has said and texted some really nice things, she’s even sitting at the table to eat, just don’t ask her to put the phone down.

He’s a good kid so it's been easy. He and I stayed up doing his homework and he handed it off to me and we know what tests and stuff he has due. His cold has moved to his ear, though, what do I give him for that?

I’ve had MY BALANCE back for a bit.

You do what’s right for you, I’m doing what’s right for me…
Pass the rock over to me for a bit. I am not going back to the way things were, no way. I’m not leaving the kids again and I GOT THIS, we’re building a relationship and I am taking this opportunity and responsibility to be a father and husband.

It was tough to give you space, when all I was thinking of the kids and you. You can have all the space you need, I’m watching the kids. And you worry about you. Again I got this

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Aren't the kids...in school?

Telling your MLC wife the kids are driving you nuts is pretty much like putting a gun in your mouth and pulling the trigger you might as well say, hey I can't parent them.

I cannot tell you how to be a parent, for me it comes down to 2 things. I want them to weep at my funeral because of all the good memories they have, AND I want them to have their friends and family who were drawn to their character and moral code I helped instill in them to be able to comfort them.

Its a little selfish on my part.

[are you kidding]

Aren't the kids...in school?


I want them to weep at my funeral because of all the good memories they have, AND I want them to have their friends and family who were drawn to their character and moral code I helped instill in them to be able to comfort them.

Its a little selfish on my part.

I feel the same way, so what is the best way to get what inside I know she and I both want?

[Jack_Three_Beans]

I do not know.

In my case, we would alternate weeks, and keep each other informed about ANYTHING our boys were doing. I did not compensate for their mother not being around as in buying their affection. I engaged them more we played more and I did not shirk my responsibilites as a father. They got punished when needed and I wasn't worried if mom was their favorite for it.

We had a deal that neither one of us would burden our children with our problems. I didn't ask them for information about their mom, and when they tried, I told them thank you but that was a conversation that had to happen between their mother and I and they should not be a part of it.

I kept them away form our problem, and wife did the same. All the while telling them this was not their fault.

[are you kidding]

Get home from work asked to talk to D,which of course in front of her friends,imposed her will.

Finally after 10 plus requests,she said she would talk.Friends go outside.I ask about a friend of hers,why is she drinking,where'd she get it,what happened with boys.

She held firm then relented.She says I can't tell you anything,"Mom's said she's afraid you'll tell your counselor.And if you ever got divorced the court would take me because she'd be an unresponsible mother." That's twice this wk I've heard that.Once from MLC last wk and now D.

I text MLC can we talk about the kids.

This text back is from MLC about how you lied to D and said I told you everything.

The rest is me:

I didn't defend myself back in text,said teens,manipulate,she's bound determined to get us divorced.Now D is mad at both of us.

I think I know why she did text you,we all want to protect her mother.So can we talk about the kids?

I only wanted to listen to what you have to say briefly so I don't get in trouble.Has D told you what shes telling her friends?

I don't think you(MLC)should worry if ur out with friends what D and friends are upto in the house.Rather D attack me than you MLC.

Anyway,I got no response from MLC.She texted D,that she's not coming home tonite and forwarded me the texts that D sent about now she can't trust MLC for telling me everything.

As you know MLC didn't tell me anything,other people have.

D's grounded for tonite for lying,being disrespectful and starting a fight with MLC and I.

What do I do now? I know I sent too many texts,but I'd rather she not worry about what I'm going to do.I haven't texted or emailed since Sunday,but when I do,like now I overexplain.

Pointers guys?

By the way,my counselor still hasn't called me back.

[brandnewday]

I am very sympathetic to your terrible plight.

But you are going to have to chill out and stop with the texting, and with the need to try and fix this mess.

I know your heart is in the right place but you are making the situation worse.

Your D14 is in need of some serious parenting.

Right now that would be my concern.

Be still, learn how to breathe and step back.

[are you kidding]

Part 2,MLC called ripped me good.Got really mad when I said,I understand sorry you feel that way,"said don't manipulate and play head games,you're a liar,kids want and respect me,because I was there for them you weren't."

Asked how to get them to do things for themselves,"she said she puts her foot down,stops what she's doing so they're happy." Not in awhile has she.But,she has done too much for all of us.

Said quit texting,can't believe grounded D for texting me and lying to her.

Said why "I think they're going to take kids is a very real concern of mine.I know you have forwarded emails and faxes to the counselor and you have the wrong diagnosis."

Said,"I need to focus on me and find what makes me happy,because no one but MLC could make me happy." And she isn't going to anymore. That's true,I really looked forward every day to being with her.

"She's done,she did everything.I never listened,I always talked,done helping me with kids,I need to build my own relationship."

"I've backed you up in this more than anyone and more than before."

I asked if I could be around more,help with the kids or be here in two wks. She told me to text her when we go to counselors so we could go together and she'd me Saturday at son's game.

I have never in my life heard her so angry.

Well I got caught in a lot of the DON'T DO's,wish I found DB sooner.

Well now I know why counselor nvr called me back, I told her I'm going to go to another counselor and those things I forwarded was so they could tell me how to make her happy.

I folded on everything,didn't stand up for myself on anything,I know my voice cracked because I really wanted to stand up for myself and she sure caught me off guard.

Well I think I know now,make myself happy,where have I heard that before and stay the heck out of the way.

As usual learn things too late.

So what now? Month 2 of the Anger. Do MLC's eventually forget about the stuff at the beginning of this,if I quit now?

I am so dropping those counselors,that's twice now.

But wife in all this was still sane enough to know what D was upto and to ask me and respect me.

[are you kidding]

I'm not focused on her,but the kids,but MLC really is a great person.

[are you kidding]

I'm trying to step back,I did myself in trying to help,this is all from before I found this forum.