Eb. It is hard. But it's the right perspective. My H is miserable most of the time I see him. This separation is not making him anhy more happy. I can see it. He's angry, bitter, distrusting. He doesn't want to make up and risk trusting me again only to be hurt again. Being angry that he is scared and shut down doesn't encourage him to open up or feel better. Only love and compassion. Being his friend.
And there is always hope as long as there's that little voice in the back of their heads. They have to be the ones to listen to it. If we push, then we take over the voice of wanting to stay together. That strengthens the voice in them that wants to run away. They need to feel completely free to make a decision for themselves. Hopefully they do before it's too late, but they may not. We have to be prepared.
