Perhaps the better convo would be about the two of you talking about what's going on with the kids. Do not blame and do not imply that problems with the kids are b/c of this. They may be, but with a teenager things can go south fast regardless. Suffice it to say I have some experience (one that was in crisis and now does intensive therapy). You two need to schedule time for you and the kids.
There isn't a kid in the world (and this goes double for a teenager) who doesn't use the fact that both parents don't know what's going on with them to their advantage. We're talking cracks that little things fall through that turn into a chasm.
My H and I have a set time during the week where he calls me and I fill him in on what's going on with D's. It isn't just problem stuff (think pressure). I fill him in on alot of little things and we talk about upcoming plans the kids may have and what we think about their participation. I keep a list and have it handy come time for the call.
