Cinco said: "His cuddle with you is encouraging. It is a slow process to reconnect with each other. It starts with those small gestures like hugs, kisses and cuddles. Your being open to him touching you again is a good way to start."
Absolutely. I couldn't agree more.
From what you've said thus far, it sounds like your husband genuinely loves you; however, it sounds like he doesn't know how to channel into the marriage his desire for an emotional connection--a connection that allows him to be free from physical failure ... because the threat of failure always exists with you, the threat that he won't really satisfy you.
This threat didn't become overwhelming until after you were married. So there was a time--before the marriage--when he was sexual and the threat of failure was NOT a problem? Is that true?
What activities did you share together before the marriage? Did you go to movies? Did you go to shows? Did you share any hobbies? Is it possible to resume activities that were part of the courtship phase? If you can, it may help re-establish a romantic atmosphere.
I suspect, however, that many of the problems that you're facing have to do with the limitations that your husband, and maybe you as well, have placed on your roles in the marriage. For example, your husband's role as your lover maybe needs to be broadened so that his perceived failure in one respect doesn't prevent him from ever participating.
me: 50 w (waw): 45 daughter: 9 m: 16 t: 19 bomb: 9/26/08 status: physical separation for 7 weeks, then work-in-progress R
