For the last two month my W has put all the blame on me, she keeps reminding me of my faults. I know that I have made my share of mistakes in our relationship but it does take 2 to tango.
She has not once taken any responsibility for what has happened. I know we are not supposed to talk about the R. However, should I not point out to her how she has hurt me over the years so that she too can see that I am not the only person at fault?
What do I do?
You lead. You show her by your actions that you see her issues (validate) and are working on bettering yourself. Don't get defensive, have expectations, keep score or mind read. Don't let her mind-read or catastrophise things either. Listen for these words/phrases, "You just think," You believe..." "You never/always" or words like totally, devastated.
This ties into the next question...
Quote:
The one thing I can't practice right now if I am DBing is the big thing that lead to this situation and that is my lack of intimacy. For the most part, my W needed me to talk to her, touch her, hold her and I didn't, even though I wanted deep down.
You can be intimate by letting your wife know your thoughts, feelings, concerns, issues and goals. Let her in all your rooms: work, hobbies, friends, church, kids activities, sports, interests etc.
You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
