I'm sex starved, he has EA with OOW

[Cinco]

Brokentrust:

I have been following your thread and I've been wanting to post something to you but I didn't quite know what to say. I do understand going for so long without really filling each other's emotional needs as that is what my wife and I did for so many years. We had a relationship but that intimate piece was missing.

Like your husband, I came to a point where I filled those needs outside of my marriage... I had affairs both EA and PA. I wanted this emotional and physical connection with my wife though and over the past year I have been working to reestablish our connection. The first thing I had to do though was to let go of my anger towards my wife. Then I could start to find a genuine way to reconnect.

My secrets however got in the way of her opening herself to me and starting to recover our marriage. She had anger towards me as well. Our anger and resentment towards each other was the thing standing between us.

Once my affairs were revealed to her it lifted a weight from both of us. It also gave her new things to be angry about though. We are still working very hard so that we may both understand why this happened, so that it won't happen again. Working past the anger is an important step.

A very good book that our MC recommended to us is After The Affair, by Janis Spring. It is written for both the "hurt spouse" and the "unfaithful spouse". It is helping us understand our own feelings and each others feelings about this. How to rebuild trust, forgive and heal. Very highly recommended.

His cuddle with you is encouraging. It is a slow process to reconnect with each other. It starts with those small gestures like hugs, kisses and cuddles. Your being open to him touching you again is a good way to start.

Cinco