I have decided that I will offer to get counseling to the boys if our circumstances change. That, and not talking about it seems the best I can do. Feedback appreciated.
That sounds good. And I agree with you if you are forced to answer their questions, you should be truthful minus the nasty kind of stuff your H does.
To teach them to not tell mom stuff is horrible! I think kids should always be encouraged to tell both parents what's going on and communicate with them. Because that is horrible if they feel they can't be honest & communicate with their parents! Horrible!!! I always tell my kids that they should be free about telling their mom and dad anything.
And trash-talking the other parent is just as bad. I've read all over the place that's really harmful for the kids. I think therapy would be a great idea, and maybe the therapist could meet with your H and give him advice/pointers. I think he needs therapy prob. more than anyone or a parenting class or something...
