Some people are just really bad receivers, and it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with feeling entitled, ungrateful, etc. With some people, it's almost the reverse. On some level, they're uncomfortable with putting *you* out -- even though they do desire the end result of you (perhaps) inconveniencing yourself for them. They don't feel worth it, deep down they don't feel like anyone should be sacrificing *for them*, but rather the reverse. The bigger the favor, the more that kicks in.
I had this issue for a long time. My self-worth was in the toilet, and I felt really uncomfortable receiving anything from anyone. H interpreted it as me being ungrateful, though I appreciated the gestures. OF COURSE, the flip side of this was that H kept score...he did this great thing, so he expected something from it. He labeled me a bad person, and as I already thought I was, all it did was create more of the same.
It wasn't until I did some intense IC work that I was able to see any of this, however.
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
