I am excited for her to have what she wants,just want it more than anything to be as a family.
Ok. So, how about you finding and doing the things that excite you (not to do with her)? This is not punitive or manipulative. It's just time to take care of yourself.
Any M's that make it through all of this, well, the M's are the by-product. You will hear to work on you and GAL until you want to puke (I know I did). No truer words are spoken though.