For the last two months things have been better, but then there's the fact he filed.
Before that, everything was pretty much his way as I was doing all I could to lay low and keep my boundaries. I'm done with that now. The self respect has kicked in full force. He's had plenty of time to figure things out and I won't sit in limbo forever nor will I do it for too much longer.
He's been having his cake and eating it too for way too long. And if he thinks this is how it's going to be, then that's my fault, truly and it's time for me to make him understand that it won't be like this. There were times and conversations where I've told him as much but it's hard to say what sinks in and what goes out the other ear.
Keep in mind, I was ok letting things progress, letting him figure things out in his time, then he put us in a position to have a time limit, put us up against a clock. HE DID THIS. So I see no reason why I have to make this decision alone. He wants out, say so. He wants to work on it, say so. And I understand if he said he wanted to work on it....that doesn't mean we are 100% back in the saddle, it means we are still working on things but it could still end in D.
When I found out he filed, to me that meant he was done and I was ready to move forward with it. Then he says he doesn't know what he wants and his actions indicate he is confused. Great, then why bother wasting money to file? Maybe deep down inside he just wants me to end it. Ok, say so. File and act like you want out, don't call or text. Don't see us when you don't have too. As a matter of fact, he never has to see me beyond few minutes when he would have to drop S back off to me.
It's par for the course I guess, it all continues to be confusing and frustrating and honestly, annoying.
I know what I'm going to do as I've always said I would fight this into the ground, so I'll follow through, like I have with my wedding vows for these hellish 9 months. I will file for the extension if he doesn't remove the filing.
In the meantime, per my list, I've made my wishes, hopes and requests quite clear. And so far, so good.
I'm just done wondering what he's going to do next. But yet, here I am again, doing exactly that. It's sucks. I'm sick of it.
And something else to note, I file for an extension, my lawyer is confident it will be granted, we only have a maximum of 90 days. In that time frame, H has to remove the filing. If he doesn't the divorce does move forward. It's a no fault state, eventually, if he keeps it in place, we will be divorced.
