Advice on exposing the Affairs

[Hope4us]

I tend to have an opposing view. If the OP has a significant other, they DESERVE to know what's going on in their lives. And exposure, if done correctly, can be your biggest weapon to bust up the A.

Exposure is not to punish or shame or anything like that. It's to bring to the light of day something that is hidden beneath the rocks. Many times exposure kicks the fantasy part of the A right in the groin.

Sugar is correct. Your spouse will be ANGRY. ANGER you never thought possible. But it can be an effective weapon in busting up the A which has to happen before your marriage has a chance.

But you also need to be prepared for the consequences. It might end your marriage also. So I wouldn't expose immediately and I wouldn't tell the whole world. I told OMW about 3 months after I discovered the A. And then I told my kids fully 7 months after that. But that was when I'd had enough and was going to file for D. My S17's shredding of his mom what was finally ended the A for good.

Did my exposure make our recovery difficult? Yes it did. But in my sitch, without that exposure, we'd be D'd right now.

And we are recovering nicely although it's been a long haul.

Exposure is something that each person needs to weigh carefully and decide for themselves.