Partner left after 9 yrs - 18months on, reunited !

[AliSuddenly]

I havent the heart to! I pay him compliments, eye him up, touch him up even, every day.. nada. He is very very huggy and affectionate though, thank goodness. I am struggling a bit. He couldnt be trying harder really, considering he is still not 100% well.. but I feel anger rising the past few days (trouble is, I cant 'access' it and it disipates) and anyway, he's not allowing me to express it as he doesnt want to talk about her and whats done is done and is best forgotton...so I have to swallow it.

Last night he called BMF.. he took Helen to stay there in February, which made me angry..he had already decided it was over with her and admitted he didnt want to take her, but she 'gave him no choice', yet he took her to meet his bestest friend in Wales. Why do that? It feels strangely humiliating. We are going to visit BMF soon (I havent seen him since before the bomb and its a huge deal for me) and he's very glad we are.

As for the children thing.. I have no idea how long he wants to put it off for (but the time isnt right now I assume from what he said) and yet, it may already be too late for me and my ovaries!