New to this Community seeking advice

[JR09]

Journaling.

I got off the phone with my wife this evening. Brief conversation. We'll link up this weekend so I can perform this religious event for our S12. My W worked out the paperwork so that's good news. Unfortunately it will be a very quick weekend for the both of us since we have to go back to work/school next MON. We live 900 miles apart and will meet half way, which really is still 600 mile-drive for me...10 hours...

Since the event will happen next SUN, I asked my W if I could have the boys SAT afternoon and evening for an overnighter. I told her I'd bring them back when we link up SUN morning for the religious event. My W said No. I asked her why not. She replied she also wanted to spend time with them other than at home. She said I could have 2 hrs with them.

I really bit my tongue and carefully weighed my reply over the phone. I thought I wasn't asking for much, just one night with the boys. Last time I saw them was 2 weeks in JUL. I just didn't understand the reasoning. I hesitated a bit in my response and my W said " So you wouldn't even take 2hrs for your boys?"

I kept my composure and calmly replied "sure, 20 min or 2 hrs is fine. No issues. It's better than no time at all. That sounds fine." I have to say I was really struggling with her decision. I just didn't understand why one overnighter would be such a big deal.

In the end, I am glad I didn't argue over it. Maybe some would say I should have. I thought maybe this was a test from my W, a test to see if my changes were consistent and durable. Maybe she noticed my reply and how I kept it "as if" and didn't fuss about it. I hope she did.

In any case, It bothered me. I'm not a criminal,I am a good father. But I am glad I reacted calmly. Total 180. The conversation was brief but ended calmly. That in itself is still a good encounter and a victory for DB skills. I did well.

JR