I'm new wondering if this works...

[BigJohn]

I royally screwed things up and didn't really get it until I almost lost him. How do I ever forgive myself for that? How do I care for myself when I'm so mad at myself? I guess this is my big growth lesson.

"Hope, I forgive Hope." You can't change the past.

One of my favorite quotes from here is about forgiveness. And it was that "Forgiveness means giving up all hope of a better past." Learn from your past, but let it go.

And yet, I need to be ok no matter what. I know this. It's as hard for me as it is for any of us on this board.

This is a process and it takes time. You need patience in many areas of your life right now.

Hope,

Early on in my sitch I too struggled with these types of feelings. GIMA hit the nail on the head with the post above. You have to process the mistakes on your part, learn from them, resolve to not make the same mistake twice and then forgive yourself.

BTW, I'm glad to hear you had a good night last night with your H. You are right about the path to a man's heart being through his stomach. That is certainly the case with me! I'm a big pie lover myself too!