Looking For Help

[Looking_For_Help]

Thanks hhh...hang in there...you're going to be just fine. Find your inner strength...you're going to be surprised how strong you really are.

Well, I just finished packing for our trip tomorrow. My W helped with the kids' stuff. Overall, she was quite conversive this week. I made it a point this week to be very happy, upbeat, and cool. I spent every evening reading to the kids...my W definitely noticed how great I was with them. She's mentioned once before that she's drawn towards me when I'm horsing around with the kids.

Our Retro weekend is now just 36 days away. I'm trying to follow Sandi's and Sara's advice as much as possible and not screw things up leading up to Retro. I really think my W warmed up to me this past week, relatively speaking of course, even though she's trying her best at showing me her cold shoulder. I just need to be patient.

-LFH

[Looking_For_Help]

I also want to add...it looks like I survived for a second week...still no divorce papers. My friend mentioned to me that if my W REALLY wanted to get a divorce, it would have been done by now. He thinks this is a good sign.

-LFH

[givingitmyall]

Could be a good sign. Don't mean to say I told you so...

[Looking_For_Help]

My kids and I returned from our trip yesterday. I was exhausted, but we had alot of fun. We celebrated the birthdays of my mom and brother. The kids were great during this short trip and behaved very well. Getting away is what the doctor ordered!

My 20th high school reunion was also this past weekend. It was very nice seeing old friends again. It was very awkward for me going alone, but I soon realized that I wasn't the only one dealing with WAS syndrome. Many friends already went through divorce and are doing just fine. My biggest takeaway from the reunion was that I forgot how "great a catch" I really am. I have a lot of great things going for me, regardless of what my W thinks of me. My old high school friends thought of me as a tremendous success...great education, great career, and great kids. They would trade situations with me in a heartbeat.

My W called and texted several times while we were away. I think my high school reunion may have concerned her. When my W asked me about it...I just said "a good time was had by all" and left if at that.

Currently, I'm struggling with this Limboland thing. I just have 30 days till Retrouvaille, but my anger and resentment towards my W is really starting to consume me. I keep reminding myself to follow Sandi's and Sara's advice about playing it cool until Retro. It's tough; however, Orich's recent success at Retro is an inspiration for me. I guess I just have to hang in there and overcome my impatience.

And finally, I'm into my third week and still no divorce papers. It looks like my W's threat was empty.

-LFH

[givingitmyall]

Hey man. I was about to send a search party out for you.

Sounds like you had a good weekend.

Keep focusing on you good qualities. The fact you are noticing those if a very good sign.

The anger and resentment is something I can relate to. It has pretty much gone away at this point, but initially, it was there. And even now, it pops up in watered down versions. Not really anger anymore as much as it is resentment for her stringing this along - then, I stop and realize it is really just my impatience, not her stringing along, that is making me feel that way.

Besides, anger and resentment are just feelings - and we know we can't trust them. But, I know how you feel.

Get out and pound some range balls when you have those feelings. Or, go for a long run, or work out. Getting exhausted has a way of taking care of the anger.

[sandi2]

Well, hi guys......I was about to think I was the only one home tonight. Felt down right lonely.

LFH, so glad you went to your reunion. Seems to be the shot in your arm you needed.

[givingitmyall]

Hi Sandi.

I'm still up.

[Looking_For_Help]

Hi Sandi and GIMA,

Thanks for your reply. I'm just hanging out until Retro. It seems my life is on hold right now. It is what it is. My motiviation right now is the kids...I can do it.

Hey...great news for Orich...too bad he's finished with this BB, but I'm very happy for him. It's definitely a source of hope for me over the next thirty days.

Sandi...about the reunion...it made me realize that my W is throwing away a "diamond in the rough." Yes, I did alot of wrong things in my M, but I'm a new person now...not the same old LFH. I still can't get over how intrigued my old friends were with my life story...they were actually impressed. I guess sometimes we take for granted our accomplishments and only focus on our failures. I also was looking my best at the reunion. I have lost 40 pounds since my W dropped the bomb. I went to my reunion at the same weight as when I graduated...it made me feel real good about myself...and the women definitely noticed.

GIMA...the resentment is really tough for me right now. I desperately want this all to be over...one way or another. I feels like my life has been put on "pause" the last six months. I'm ready for closure.

-LFH

[givingitmyall]

GIMA...the resentment is really tough for me right now. I desperately want this all to be over...one way or another. I feels like my life has been put on "pause" the last six months. I'm ready for closure.

Yeah. I know. I have felt that way too.

But, I keep coming back to my kids. Can I look them in the face one day and tell them I did everything I could to try to save the M? If I can say yes, then it is time to move on. If not, I keep trying. So far, the answer to that question has not been yes.

I am VERY interested in hearing how you Retro experience is. I looked into that for my city, and, unfortunately, we are on a vacation with the kids at Disney that weekend. That, and I'm not sure W is ready for that since we have not had any R discussions since the bomb in April.

[Looking_For_Help]

GIMA,

I can relate to your interest in the Retro thing. I couldn't wait till Orich posted about his experience. Although I'm happy for him, I was disappointed about his resignation from this BB. I really wanted to here about his experience...what caused a change of heart for his wife, etc. I guess I'll just have to wait my turn.

You may want to ask Sara about the best way to approach your W for Retro. Your W may be ready...your posts have been very positive of late.

-LFH