Hey Gucci, Puppy, RobX and Coach!

[BigJohn]

So that leaves crisis, loss and reality, and why I am now helping to put down the financial in our sitch, as the black and white of it has to be completely different than what she has in her mindset currently.

I think BJ is pursuing the same by forcing the D issue himself, correct BJ?

What other options are there to point these things out? I am currently in belief that we'll have to D, and she spend time in reality as a single mom again to come to the realization that the fairy tale is not what she had in mind?

IWITW,

That is correct, my W has not really given me any other option. Like we say on the street, time to get "real".

Looking back, I'm comfortable overall as to how my sitch has developed. Sure, I could have done many things sooner, faster, and better. But I think I started off my sitch the right way, first trying to understand and empathize with my WAW from her perspective (with much help from my pal Sandi) and work the sitch from that angle. There was a high price to pay for starting off with this approach emotionally and otherwise, but it was the right thing to do.

Once I had exhausted that avenue with my W, it was time to try to implement boundaries and the tough love approach. I wish my W had given me more time to try this approach before forcing my hand to file for D- now it's tough love while we work our way through the D process. At least after the entire D process is over (at a minimum 6 mos. here in California) either my W or I have five years in which to finalize the D with the court. (I'll defer to my W to be the party to finalize the D if and when we get to that point.)

BTW, how are things going with you IWITW?