Yeah, my lawyer did give me a heads up that judges in this town do that quite often and if that did happen, great, he can't blame me. But truth be told, he'd still be defiant, or so my gut tells me so probably no dice there, but again, he couldn't be mad at me.
Basically folks, he filed. Everything you are saying does make sense except he filed putting a time limit on things, forcing responses and necessary questions.
And for me, if he filed because he really wants out, I'm really ready to let him go now because yes, life does not end with a divorce. I promised my S who doesn't understand what's going on right now and is still very normal with no issues that Mommy was not going to be the one to end this. I will keep that promise, but if Daddy really is ready to walk, then he needs to do it. I'll miss him and I'll be sad but I'm not fighting by myself anymore. I'm just not.
Many times I've read here this is a personal journey where ultimately the final decisions are made by each DBer for their own personal reasons. I'm at the point where I'm not doing this alone. I can see my life without him. I've kept my promise to my S and I've honored my vows. If me telling H to get on board or pull the plug ends in him pulling the plug then so be it. And frankly if he does, I now believe it's not because I told him to make a decision. He was always going to do it.
But I have walked this path a long time and I've met great people and I have true friends who've carried me at times. I'll always be grateful for that and what I've learned through this.
Every DBer has to answer the question: When is enough enough? How much more can I take? This is where I am. Him filing changed everything for me. And not telling me for weeks didn't help.
So why bother even asking him? Why not just answer with Marital Misconduct since he did file and officially be done with it?
Because I have fought hard and long, this is my last ho-rah! And oddly this is not a man who ACTS like he wants divorce. His butt is always around even when he has no reason to be. He still initiates activities as a family and as a couple. He says "I'm going out"....ends up here instead. "I think I'll just go grab some drinks and watch the game without you guys, ok?" Sure. Then he texts me "S has to eat, why don't you come up here?" And etc. The list goes on and on and on.
And as you should not be surprised, the more I pulled away and stopped being the organizer, the more he picked up the slack.
Who knows? Admittedly, really, not me.
I am going to file for the extension. (It's also the cheaper route at this point too. Forgot to mention that.) So what happens in that time, we'll see.
