Yes GIMA, after many painful months I finally got it through my thick skull that I can't do anything directly to shake her out of the limbo state. She has to make the choice to do it and trying to convince her is just counterproductive.
Kane - my W said the same thing "why didn't you try to change things a couple of years ago? If you had we wouldn't be in this spot", etc etc. It is script.
One thing I noticed lately is that I don't enjoy being around her much anymore. When she isn't home I feel relief, and when she is home I keep finding things to do away from home. Obviously, if she was 'normal' and not such an ice queen I would definitely enjoy her company but this person is someone I want to avoid on many occasions I am finding. It wasn't like that before, I would desperately miss her when she wasn't around during the first few months of the crisis.
I am leaving town with S12 this weekend for a baseball tournament and looking forward to it.
ME/XW:47 S21, D19, S15, S14 M:21 T:26 W moved 6/10 I filed 7/10 D final 4/12 remarried 8/12 W wants to R 12/10 and 4/11 but I decline