K4D Rising #4

[25yearsmlc]

C-Bart,

I am not putting myself above her. I have admitted TONS of times that I also have committed many sins and do to this day. While I try not to as best as possible, I still fall at times. The problem here is people are assuming that I am casting a stone at her and I am not. I am merely praying that she leave this life of adultery. I am not deciding her fate for her. I am not telling her where her destiny lies. I am not saying she is going to hell or heaven because of anything she has done. I am only praying that she quit living in that particular sin is all I am doing. You really think that's where YOUR energy should be spent now? I mean if you were together and you had learned and grown and healed....I could see a comment like that....but it's a stalling technique of yours and a self righteous one at that. Oh, and a huge turn off too.

Oh come on. You are telling her (AND US) a lot of useless commentary and pointless debate about where her destiny lies, b/c by your implication, she's going to hell if she doesn't take you back. And when you skim over your past faults with feigned admissions of humility WHILE YOU CONTINUE HAVING THEM and avoid working on them...that's called hypocrisy.

That feeling of "being overwhelmed by life", that you've had for your whole life according to you, and dumping the duties and choices of life, onto your wife that you still prefer doing, is both unhealthy AND unfair of you. Why would your wife think things would be better with you now, when you still have the same problems? You can criticize her "controlling" nature all you want but you made her into a controlling woman b/c you refused to take charge of your family or marriage or yourself, and you admit you prefer not doing so even now...someone in your family had to make the tough choices and you said you preferred taking directions from her....(your words)

BUT here's the point I needed to make, Yet again you have misused faith to hide behind. You say the word "stand" so you can "stand" as in, STAND STILL AND NOT GROW OR CHANGE.....you said you were getting the audio version of the book I suggested, "Blue Like Jazz" (b/c you could not concentrate enough to read a book....sure K4, that's "well", especially a year after your bomb.....) but I don't think you have read it or you would not still be doing this same thing w/ religion. You are trying to "win" religious arguments about your w, when we're all supposed to help you get help for your sitch. But you won't take the help.

You are not healthy K4. Whenever THAT ISSUE COMES UP...you divert and deflect. How's that behavioral tool working for you? Is your life improving by not addressing your underlying problems? Still think you should spend all that energy on praying/obsessing/commenting about your wife or, maybe, could you just get yourself some real HELP?!

I think breakaway and stuck are dead on with their analysis. Get psychiatric help so your life can improve -- or it won't. You have to get help. You must get better emotionally and psychologically and all we're saying is you need more help than a priest is equipped to give you, let alone once a week.

Why would you feel the need to bring up your w's behavior, or your faith in God again, when that's all we're saying? Oh yeah, I remember now. It deflects....diverts....so like I asked, how's that approach working in your life? (Sigh) You are either the most stubborn person I've "met" or you are just....

look there's no easy way to say it but the reason I say "you need help" is b/c I think you are emotionally disturbed, and have been for awhile. I'm sorry if that hurts. But there, I said it. If you are, and you stay that way, none of these other discussions matter...at all.
j-


Somehow that got turned around on me into me judging her. I am not her judge nor will I ever be. Nor could I ever be as my own life has plenty of misteps in it. The difference is I am trying to not commit those sins in the future to the best of my ability knowing that I will fall now and then anyways. But I am not pursuing them. I am praying that she quit pursuing this sin. Huge difference between that and judging her for it.

Kevin