I know I am not an idiot however I do rethink my decision when I start getting it from all sides...
It is the enemy, the devil, trying very hard to get you to weaken and give up.
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Of course it would be much easier to just give up and move forward without him however that isn't how I feel so it isn't going to happen...
Of course it would be easier, but I didn't hear anything about easier in my vows.
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I did talk to H for a few minutes on Saturday and then again that night...He called the little one to talk to him and the minute our son got on the phone, he just started crying and asking his Dad when he would be home (His response was soon)and that he missed him and loved him...
A month ago I would have pacified H once I got back on the phone, I would have made excuses for the little ones' tears (over tired, hungry etc...)...That night I said nothing about it...I want him to think about the damage he is causing...All he said was he wasn't expecting that kind of reaction...I said I had to go and have a good night...
No need to pacify. You do not need to rescue him and your son's feelings are very valid.
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Had a good weekend, the sermon at Church yesterday - Letting Go/Letting God...Couldn't have come at a better time
(((Hugs))) to all!
It always works that way. Whether I open the bible or go to church, it always exactly what I need at that exact moment.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Just took a look at his FB... No mention of her however he has a new picture of himself up... It made me so mad for some reason... The other picture you could see his wedding ring and now you can't and yes it may be stupid to some of you but to me it is another nail in the coffin and now I just feel the sadness building up... I just want to cry.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
another one falls prey to the FB - looking temptation
and everything went downhill from there
feel your feelings serenity ..take the brief time that you need to do that and then turn the corner towards real detachmen, the kind that means that you could care less about what is on his stupid FB (i don't think I will ever warm up to that electronic nonsense ..just call me Ted Kaczinski aka unibomber).
Keep yourself busier and busier and the detachment becomes easier and easier. So easy to say...
May the Lord comfort and bless you. Peace be in your heart my dear.
Just took a look at his FB... No mention of her however he has a new picture of himself up... It made me so mad for some reason... The other picture you could see his wedding ring and now you can't and yes it may be stupid to some of you but to me it is another nail in the coffin and now I just feel the sadness building up... I just want to cry.
I can relate. My W has not had a pic of us up on her FB page for a long, long time. Just her or her and one or more of our kids.
But, you just have to let it go. I used to check her page, but I don't remember the last time I did. And I feel a lot better for not checking it. It just doesn't matter to me anymore.
I get the idea there is a lot of posturing going on between the two of you, neither one wanting to let the other know what his position really is for fear of getting hurt. Have you tried asking him to go to a Retrouvaille weekend with you? They will teach you another way to communicate with each other. Once the communication is productive, a lot of the defensiveness goes away, and things just get better.
Thanks to you all who responded to my dumb move...
I will say once again FB is the work of the devil...
I don't understand why I went there to begin with since I have been doing so good by not looking...
I went home and had a good breakdown then once again picked myself up off the floor and continued on with my day...
Told my MIL last night I thought I was done with the crying and the absolute pain but I guess not...
This is sucking the life out of me one day at a time it seems...
I know I am better today then I was yesterday and I will be better tomorrow then I am today however I miss him and that isn't changing no matter how much I want it to...
I do my 180's and I GAL however how is he supposed to see any changes when he is so far along in the fog he can barely see his hand in front of him?
How is it fair that he bailed yet he is perfectly good where all the aspects are concerned?
His family is basically homeless, yet he has an apartment...
His family doesn't have a reliable car, yet he has a nice reliable car...
I am having to swallow my pride and rely on other people to help me, yet he is just skating through this like he doesn't have a care in the world...
I have set boundries, changed my bank account, spoke to a lawyer, I don't call, text or email and when I do see him I always have a smile on my face, I stopped saying I love you, I stopped any kind of physical interaction - WTF has he done?
If he calls, I never answer and always wait to return his call, same if he texts...
Tomorrow will be 10 weeks since he walked out...
10 weeks and he hasn't even tried to see our youngest son...
10 weeks of nothing but lies and selfish behavior - WTH kind of man does that?
Why am I the only one trying to save this marriage?
Excuse the pity party however I have so many questions and zero answers and it just sucks.
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
