What do you know about the other woman (OW)? Who is she? Where does she live? Is she married? I would do some snooping and find out this information. If she is married find her husband and tell him . . . he deserves to know and this exposure will put pressure on the affair. Are you husband's parents still alive? If so, I would tell them what their son is up to. Not in a nasty way, but ask for their support and any help they can give. If this woman works with him then I would also consider telling the employer . . . an office affair may open them up to a possible sexual harassment suit and most employers really frown upon that behavior. Yes, your husband will be mad, but your marriage can survive his anger, it can't survive an active affair for very long.
Also, talk to a lawyer and look into securing finances. You are completely financially dependant on him. What are you going to do if he just decides to stop financing the household? You really need to find out what your options are.
Finally, you have been a stay at home mother for 20 years . . . you are going to get child support and substantial alimony so don't panic . . . even if the worse happens, you will not be destitute.
Now after all this, the start DBing him big time!
I'm a man . . . But I can change . . . If I have to . . . I guess . . .
