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fisherman #1838109 09/15/09 05:46 PM
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Thanks

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I think communication might be an issue.

Calm down a little gather your thoughts, you are very hard to read and your story is confusing.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet

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After reading the info,Thanks,95% sure MLC.So where from this day forward. And I have been reading both books and counseling.How assertive do I get with her temper and not wanting any suggestions.

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I'm on some new ADHD medicine.I'm wired.

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You do your best to shield yourself from her temper, calm cool collected. Reaction adds fuel.

No suggestions either at this point.



"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
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Originally Posted By: are you kidding
And I have been reading both books and counseling.How assertive do I get with her temper and not wanting any suggestions.


Re-read the chapter on VALIDATING.....

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I don't have the books here with me at work, brief recap on validating?

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Allright, I'll try to slow down. She is having a mid life crisis.Three weeks after her grandfather died.She did not feel right,numb,no feelings."Thinks she loves me."Made an appt to go to a counselor.I made her "feel awkward and uncomfortable,I took her libido,we've known eachother longer than we've been alive,etc."

In the span of a month,I know there were parts of our marriage she was not happy with,that have added up.It went from it's her fault, wants to protect me.To its all my fault and she is mean,threatening she never was,anger to the point of hives,has attacked everything I never did and will not mention all the positives.

Now the children's lifestyle has changed the last 2 yrs, she has been extremely lax.It's easier to say yes and she has them do what she doesn't want to.Like fix dinner.

The things that were important to her, have not been recently.

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She has spent more time with a neighbor in 2yrs,than anyone else,kids,me anyone.It's a deep friendship,he's not attractive at all.But he's fun,will listen and take care of things and drink and smoke with her.She is very comfortable with him,more so than she has been with me,for awhile.I could feel it.

He's twice divorced,empty nester,looking for a close bond too.

Does that help everyone now?

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So anyway,I am just trying to keep this from escalating and I have provided counselors what I think they needed to help her.

How do I help my kids?Right now she's angry and sort of sane and I don't think I'm going to be a permanet resident for awhile.

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