Yes, there *is* new respect there. He is acting with integrity. It may seem counter-intuitive but in ending his R with OW (which I am virtually certain he has done) before officially re-committing to marriage with me, he is displaying honor. And in particular, he is being cleaner about transitioning between relationships when he hasn't in the past. In about the only talk we ever had about OW1 lo these 2 years ago, he wondered to me if maybe there was something wrong with him that he couldn't end a relationship with one woman unless he was already involved in another relationship. Granted, there's not a lot of history there. I was only ever his 2nd girlfriend.
At any rate, I respect his position.
Edit: I'm onl quiet because I'm sick.
Last edited by Dia; 09/15/0902:04 AM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I have been following along. I agree that your H is taking the honorable approach. And I think that is a good thing. Maybe he wants to be sure he does not hurt you or himself again.
Cold seems to be abating but kidlet is home sick today. H still has phone contact with OW, so back to hardcore DBing for me. I was low key yesterday, swamped at work, worked late and didn't do much for my 5 pm ritual b/c I was sick. I did some, just not all. Kinda hard to gussy up and look fab whilst contending with snot.
Back on the pony.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Cold seems to be abating but kidlet is home sick today. H still has phone contact with OW, so back to hardcore DBing for me. I was low key yesterday, swamped at work, worked late and didn't do much for my 5 pm ritual b/c I was sick. I did some, just not all. Kinda hard to gussy up and look fab whilst contending with snot.
Back on the pony.
Did you overhear him on the phone? Just a couple posts back you were certain he had ended the R with her. He might still think he needs to be her friend until things are clear with the two of you.
In any case he is definitely moving closer to you. My money would bet that with his new maturity/honor he displayed to you he may just well feel he needs to be honorable to let her know the same.
Keep shining. Stay off the pony while you're sick. Sniff and snuffle all you want. He doesn't always need to see you at the top of your game.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
On his i-phone, the call history is really big and easy to read. So if he does something like hand me the phone to look at a picture or if he whips it out to make a note on his grocery list, it usually shows a flash of the call history before it switches screens. <shrug> So I know she's there.
Cold may be teaming up with the oncoming PMS train. I think I've said it before but I don't get &!tchy/cranky when PMS strikes. I get sad, vulnerable, sleepy and weepy instead.
Edit: None of that changes the fact that we're doing amazingly well, all things considered. I'm just feeling very flat today and a touch blue. I need a nap and a snuggle.
Last edited by Dia; 09/15/0907:06 PM.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Dia that stinks. Its just sort of a kick to you when you find something like that out. But she has to sense that hes pulling away from her, and Ill bet that she didnt study dbing, and will be very quickly making herself quite unattractive! Who knows, maybe the phone call was him telling her that it had to end.
I have to say that I am getting a little tired of playing the devils advocate in these situations.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Hope you get better soon, nothing worse than being sick and feeling flat at the same time.
It could be as bluerain says that she may be trying to hang on when she knows she is losing him fast. Hang in there, you have come such a long way with such great improvement.
DB Coaching sesion tomorrow - looking forward to it immensely. Also, a thought occurred to me - H wants to 'talk things out'. Ok, cool. How about we talk them out in the context of Retro? The big problem with Retro is childcare, though. We'd need to have someone take kidlet for the entire weekend. His dad is 150 miles away taking care of his mom with an ankle in a cast and my folks live 200 miles away. Additionally, I bet if his mother knew *why* we needed someone to take care of kidlet, she'd refuse.
Made a throw-together chicken stew for supper and it smells amazing. Chicken thighs, white beans, carrots and onions seasoned with garlic, sage and thyme. MmMMMmmmmmmmm! Brownies, too.
I'm wearing a skirt and a velvet tank-top, my hair and makeup are done and I'm wearing perfume. I may not be all the way back on the pony, but I've got a foot in the stirrup.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
His dad is 150 miles away taking care of his mom with an ankle in a cast and my folks live 200 miles away. Additionally, I bet if his mother knew *why* we needed someone to take care of kidlet, she'd refuse. 