In my mind it is important to differentiate between pursuing vs. doing what you want to do and doing it on your own terms.

CIPA has chosen to interact with his W. As long as he does it with confidence, indifference to outcome, and maintains the position that she is in the wrong and it is her loss, I think it's okay.

However, it is important that she is not permitted to cake eat. I see this as not being available to her 90% of the time. I don't think it hurts for her to get a taste of what she is losing. She does need to believe she's losing it though, in order for the tables to be turned.

To me it's all in how CIPA goes about it, and only he can control that.

Spellfire aka Mike

"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A