Just so you know...

[bluerain]

I have been thinking... a lot... and I have come up with some sort of personal reflections.

1) He is a bitter angry man and personally, I have grown so much over this situation that he created, seeing someone who hasnt grown at all is sort of a turn off!

2) I love my life. I have cultivated a wonderful existence, I dont have the energy to be the only one putting energy into this, I wish that it had worked out, but really... which brings me to #3

3) I dont want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me! Im great, I am a wonderful wife and partner, and I will find that person, but more immediately, I need to figure out what the heck Im going to do.

I talked with a friend today, shes having an emergency. Her H is in the military and they are afraid hes going to get a medical discharge. It was sort of a reality check I guess. But I just remembered that lifes not perfect for anyone and telling her that it was going to be ok helped me feel that way too.

Im fairly certain that when he gets back to Va hes going to wonder if he made the right call, and hes going to miss me, but I cant be on hold anymore. Well see if he can work like I did, but I just dont think that hes strong enough.

Thank you all for your support through this!