From what I can see the confusion is more of the same. Nothing has changed, but you start questioning yourself. You think.... maybe he's not so bad.... Believe me, he's so bad! Even taking yourself out of the picture, is his example what you want your kids to think is right? Would you want your son to treat women the way your H has treated you? Or your daughter to accept being treated that way?
OK, he's not so bad. He's not an axe murderer, so far as we know. It's more Gaslighting.
