Thank you so much. Thank you for this support. I talked to my coach today and she helped me keep my focus on the end goal. Last night i thought I was done with fighting for this marriage because I made the mistake of fishing for information and of course I found it and took it like a one two punch. But I got up this morning and read this and talked with my coach and feel maybe I shouldn't rush into trying to get out of this marriage and pain so quickly.
On Sunday, my H told my 13 daughter that he was sorry this is happening and that it would be hard but we would all get through it. I was very sad. Last night he told our 18 son that and that people grow apart and can't get back together. My son though told him he did not want to come from a broken home and his friends from divorced families were messed up and my H tried to justify that the divorce didn't mess them up and he would still be there that nothing would change. Not sure what that means. I am scared that he is really moving in that direction since he is being more forward with the kids. I am however taking charge of myself a little at a time. I have applied for a job which I will find out this week if I get it. I shower everyday and try to dress cute. I am at a great weight and know that I look good. I am really trying to be nice and upbeat when he is at home. I have planned a weekend at the lake with my kids this weekend. do I invite him to go along or just take my kids?
By the way what is SAHM and a WAS and IMHO?
Also, talking about the OW. He refuses to leave the house. He says it is HIS house and he paid for it. He then will say I did too being a stay at home mom for 20 years. I guess I just let this ride and not do anything for him anymore but be a great person here in the house? You asked me if I knew how to become unavailable and play hard to get? I really don't know how to do that. I have been doing the things you say. I don't contact him during the day and I am not pursuing him anymore. Do I stop doing laundry and running errands for him and stuff like that? You also talked about the "tough love" way of not sharing him with another woman. How do I do that if he won't leave the house and I am not going to either. How do I live like that? My children do not know about the OW that I am aware of. My 18 year old is not stupid though. Today I feel much more confident. I guess I will have good days and bad days. In the end I just want my marriage and family intact.
