So last night, things were great. H was over and we were having a great night. Very relaxed.
I'm diggin it!
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I tell him "Head on home and call her. It's just easier." Then it turns into an argument.
Uh oh. Sort of pushed a button there eh??
Yes it's stupid, yes it's frustrating, and yes he needs to speak up and come clean with his parents. He knows this, it's up to him to figure out how.
My guess is that it's going to happen over time. I don't think he is just one day going to bust out with "yeah mom, it's all me. I lied, I made Stronger out to be this evil person to justify what I was doing. blah blah blah. "
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I told him "You have to come clean with your parents. You spent such effort and time blaming me for everything and making me the bad guy and telling them way too much that now you can't even hang out in the house you pay for with us without getting crap from them. You need to just tell them 'Look, I want to see what can happen with Stronger and I since this is a big decision, I want to do the right thing' and just tell them to give you some space."
He know's this....and your making him feel not so good by constantly reminding him of it.
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I then sent him to his place even though he was supposed to stay with us.
I told him before he left I was going to send him an email of things I want to work on in the R, things I like that I think are going well, things I want to no longer talk about and things I want to stop right now. We spoke this morning and I asked if he was going to respond to the email with his own list. He said "I don't know what I'm going to do." I said "Ok. I have made myself clear. I won't ask you again. If you want to move forward with ending things, then I'm prepared for that too. But at this point, you need to get on board and work on this or you need to pull the plug."
So folks, we'll see. I was very clear in calm comments last night and I was clear in the email.
I'm prepared for either outcome.
What message are you sending here?
Give me what I want, when I want it or else.
You have to give him time to do this his way. He knows he F'ed up big time. Imagine trying to work your way out of this mess. It has to be hard.
