Also- I'm sure you know what's best for you in timing when to talk to H, but don't drag it out any longer than you really need to. A lot of times the dreading while waiting to talk is worse than the actual talking.
At least he made some effort. That is a good thing. Mine is in 2 weeks. I don't expect any effort at all. Good for him.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Happy Birthday! Mine was last week - H didn't do anything except to apologize that things weren't good enough for us to go out for dinner. Nice... then the next day he gives me a BD card that talks about how I am his best friend, the one who has seen it all and is still there etc... how he loves more than anyone else.... please don't do me any favors.
Hope your day is great! Things are quiet and go well for you. Take things slowly. You are doing exceptionally well considering all that you have been through.
Well..things continue in a mostly positive direction. Some weird drama on my birthday. No time to tell the story right now, but it was primarily more stuff between H and S12. It ended differently though, with apologies and hugs and return to sanity. It makes me hopeful that the bad stuff is from bad habits and the sanity is recognizing it. I hope.
Today is the day I tell him about the money. I have a terrible urge to put it off til next week because we have to spend the weekend together...but I feel a very strong tug to do it today. I so want this sword not hanging over my head anymore.
I went for a long walk and prayed during it, and things seemed smaller and more reasonable to me. I mean, it is what it is. We made 25% less income last year so I had to use some of our savings and I used our credit card too. Not on high living. I didn't tell him to protect him when he was sick, and I stand by that decision. I didn't tell him after that to protect me, and I halfway stand by that too, as he was drunk for six months and I didn't know what to do. Anyway, I don't want it this way, and I want to have transparency on money. I hate this [censored]. I never wanted to "be in charge of it" all by myself anyway, and he refused to have anything to do with it.
Okay, well, the other thing was he sent me this email today...he said it really reached out to him, and he is printing it out to put on our fridge.
It was extremely difficult to upset Jesus. He invented self-control, peace and calmness under stress. This was the day, however, when the scribes kicked over the beehive. To accuse the Holy Spirit that filled the Savior of being the spirit of Satan was the final battle cry. Jesus' response was that their declaration was unforgivable. His line of defense was as true then as it is today.
A house divided against itself can never stand.
That's why Satan will pull out all the stops to divide your house. The most powerful institution that God possesses on earth is a family, a home united in love and sold out to Christ. If you don't believe me, ask Ruth and Billy Graham and the kids!
So Satan whispers in your ear, "Your parents aren't being fair!"
"Your little brother stole your flashlight."
"Your big sister called you a liar behind your back."
"Your wife isn't all she ought to be."
"Your husband makes the same mistakes over and over again."
His list of accusations goes on and on for a lifetime. If you listen to him, you begin to believe him. Then there's strife; a wedge forms between you. If left unchecked, the wedge becomes bitterness, anger, fighting and eventually, you have just the thing that Jesus said would never stand ... a divided house. God's voice tells you to forgive. God's voice says don't judge. God's voice says be patient. God needs a house united.
QUESTIONS:
1. Has Satan been speaking to your ears lately to cause strife in your heart towards a family member?
2. As Christ forgave you, can you forgive them? Will you?
3. How can you contribute to a united family today?
Breakaway, You husband is taking note of your growth, modeling healthy behavior and communication, and love. I think you are doing a great job. Stay steady.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
thank you...I feel a peace about it, whatever happens. At least it will be over.
Hey, hugs to you, I know I get emotional on your thread. I just wish I could come pick you up and take you out for a great lunch and give you a big hug. You are worth so much more than you have even begun to realize, and I am really rooting for you to grow and blossom.
I just wish I could come pick you up and take you out for a great lunch and give you a big hug. You are worth so much more than you have even begun to realize, and I am really rooting for you to grow and blossom.