Healing my Heart part 7

[fightingirish]

didi, Yes, that is he owns his own 100% and I own mine 100%.

Each business does something different where as before everything was under the one business and he was the sole owner.
Now I have something of my own which is good.

Journaling...

He is out for most of the morning today, had a meeting. S3 is in preschool, so I get 2 hours to myself. Which is well needed. Things are the same, I just wish there was something else I could do about it.

I had a really bad dream last night that he was cheating on me and apparently I must have been crying in my sleep, he woke me up and said I was crying. This morning he asked what the dream was about and I told him. I got no reply. he has no remorse for anything he has done to me in the past, and I guess he just doesn't get that it still does affect me in one way or another.

He really thinks the world revolves around him, and he's so damn selfish. For example. He was supposed to have this meeting today, and it was set like three days ago, that means having to take my care because its all the way in MASS and the gas bill for the truck would have been $200. So that left me with no car today and not being able to take S3 to school.

Im so tired of him not planning out anything to think for once how it may affect someone elses stuff. He could care less last night, I was running around trying to find someone to take S3 to school, all the while he lays on the couch watching tv, meanwhile its 8pm and still no luck. If I would have known this even a couple hours ahead of time I could have rented a car.

I finally got one of my good friends to actually lend me his car. He is a family friend. Of course once again, I can NEVER count on H to help out in this way. If I was stranded on the side of the road, he is the type that would do what he had to get done, THEN come and get me.

I can't change him, but im also loosing my tolerance of the crap anymore.

Its always someone else helping me out, never him. and if he does, he feels like he constantly needs to take credit for it... He went to the dr.s yesterday and well he wasn't happy with what he weight was... so when he came home, he tried blaming it on me!!! "i cook too much"... I couldn't freakin believe it. I said then don't eat, knowone forces you to take second helpings. You have to want to lose the weight, I can't do if for you buddy.

UGGGGG... He is so fustrating.

Well enough of that.. Have to go and listen to the quiet for a change.

be well.