oh and I would just add to what pma said that the cake icing thingy at the party (as petty as it might seem on the surface) was something that should have been internalized only to you ...not shared with her. Those kinds of "longings for the past" are ludicrous (at present anyway), as the past was altered in a horrific way by the events that transpired between the two of you and the choices that she has made.
In my heart I know that you are trying to wipe out a large portion of the distance between you and your W (among other things). You just need to continue to work on analyzing each interaction with her to determine if it will truly widen or narrow the gap between the two of you.
Just keep being a terrific dad and a lovingly detached H as you can. You are a natural at the first one or perhaps a fair amount of how great of a dad that you are has come from practice more than likely. Do the same for your relationship as you lovingly detach from W. Continually practice it.
