My sitch...long but please indulge me

[billclay18]

Reasons for no contact with my W…

…NC with W makes me a non-factor…I’m not part of the problem nor am I part of the solution. NC gives W time & space to reassess her decision & her life without me and:

a) it might be “out of sight, out of mind”…she’ll move forward with the D and her life…not the desired outcome, but better than the status quo
b) it might be “absence makes the heart grow fonder”…she may start to miss me, possibly begin to feel differently about me and our marriage…once again better then the status quo
c) she’ll do nothing…which at some point will lead me to put an end to all of this

…NC with W means she is no longer depending on me to do all the things I used to do for her, the girls and our household. These are now her responsibilities and taking them on:

a) will make her more self sufficient, which will be good for her self esteem…and if we ever attempt to reconcile, this would be a necessary condition
b) relieves me of them…her continued dependency on me in our situation would not have been tolerated (I am grateful she has not put me in that position)
c) may lead her to appreciate the things I did for her, the girls and our household, things she took for granted or possibly wasn’t even aware of

…NC means I won’t have to deal with any possible attempts on W’s part to be “friends”, which would only serve to ease her guilt and prolong lingering feelings (good or bad) that have no purpose if we aren’t going to be together.

…NC gives me the opportunity to do whatever I want with no accountability to anyone. It give me the chance to put my wants and needs first (behind those of my daughter of course) for the first time in years.

…Most importantly, NC removes me from the drama of my W’s unhappiness and dissatisfaction with her life. It’s quite simply not my problem or concern anymore.