WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Stuck808 and PMA_Baby!

I wouldn't say last Sunday was the same as what I've been doing. At a high level, we had dinner together like we had quite frequently before I found out she was cheating.

But, during Sunday's dinners, I did not try to hug her, kiss her or show her any kind of affection. I tried to show her that, without an act, that I am a happy man and father that loves his children very much.

One of my intentions over the dinner on Sunday, was to "address" the issue I had raised several days ago, of how do I avoid this situation from spiraling out of control into WWIII. There are no winners in those types of wars. And there are definitely casualties.

So I took the high road. When we were at the B'day party, we did not say much. She spent the majority of her time talking/laughing with the other moms. I spent my time with the boys. During the cake portion of the party, we sat on opposite ends of the room, but we did make eye contact a couple of times. She smiled at me and I returned the smile as I would have with anyone else in the room.

At the end of the party, she came and sat next to the boys and I and made some light conversation.

When we walked out to the truck, it was about 2.5 hours before she would have picked up the boys. She came over to say goodbye to the boys. After that, she turned to talk about when she would pick them up. That's when I asked her to join me for dinner. I was careful not to say us. She said that she didn't have any money for dinner. If she didn't want to go, I'm good either way, just don't make excuses, but I was asking her to have dinner with me. She said that sounded fine.

We did spend a few minutes alone when the boys were playing while we were out. That's when she brought up how she thought our call on Friday was productive.

So, I've created an "enviornment" where she feels she can talk to me - unlike how she felt before. I've done all that I can do. The rest is up to her.

Either way, it was not an act this weekend. I am happy and proud to be a father to my boys. I have down moments, but they are not as frequent nor as long.

Thanks for all the support and thoughts.