I have been thinking about my post in response to Gucci and I didn't 'get it' when I wrote that.
I always have done and continue to do everything for him. I haven't had any payback now for a long time. I think now it is time for me.
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I take being rejected over and over by him yet do not have the guts to reject him myself.
Pathetic
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Would rejecting him make him take more of a risk with me? And is rejecting him ignoring these emails and texts?
Who cares? I don't like getting these emails and texts so why encourage them. If he wants to see me he can make an effort.
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I am a busy, do lots of fun things person but I am never sure how to convey that without it looking like I am trying?
Why should I care if he notices or what. I am not doing it for him.
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How would h know other men were interested in me?
Why would he think that they would not be interested in me??
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How do I increase his interest when contact is so limited anyway?
Duh, by stopping trying. It's all pressure, pressure, pressure. Whatever way you look at it.
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How do I stop trying? Is s'howing my interest is gone' ignoring him?
How do I stop trying? - By stopping trying
Honestly, when did I ever get so pathetic? Before I started DBing I thought that I wouldn't be able to live with myself because I hadn't tried everything to make my marriage work. I can live very well with myself now. I feel so much stronger.
He has never 'lost' me. I have always been there for him even when he was treating me so disrespectfully, I cushioned him. Well, no more. I'm still not entirely clear on my path yet, but I am getting there
P.S - fencing was so much fun yesterday. For the first time I got to hold a foil and poke quite a handsome man in the chest
