I think detachment comes in stages. Some we force ourselves to get used to and some they force us to get used to, and the rest we grow into. Whilst I was changing the bed this morning,I was musing on Gucci's reply to you early, I smiled to myself and thought if H does come up for that weekend, Im going to put all my black sexy underwear on the airer and leave sexy pjs by my bed, and maybe my killer heels on the bedroom floor. I actually started to think also that maybe someone else in my life wouldnt be so bad after all, yet on saturday a gentleman paid a lot of attention to me, it was sweet but he is definately a no go area for lots of reason, age being the most important. Whilst he was doing the you will move on speech I remember saying to myself "nah long time yet I still love my H far too much" In 48hrs I have moved on and detached a little more..
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I have spent most of today pondering where my sitch is at. Also trying to work out where I feel I am at in terms of my feelings for H and our R and M.
Haven't come to any real conclusions yet. I don't know if it was the photos of H on the weekend or what that has caused this questioning so will continue to ponder for the rest of the day.
Don't know if this is a normal part of the process that everyone does from time to time.
I am with you on the feeling that someone else in your life would be good. I think it is because you so crave that company and attention that our H's are not giving any more. It is human nature to need to feel wanted, loved, cherished and be touched. I am not at that point yet of crossing that line.
You go for it LR, leave the undies and heels lying around, certainly can't hurt might even spark some interest, you never know until you try.
Oops somehow my reply did not appear. Oz, yeah I would say that is a pretty normal part of the process and would be for some time.
Always felt that detachment could be a very thin line and a double edged sword at times.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
It is a bit of a strange feeling I have today. I was so sure of what I wanted, now I'm not. Hopefully I will work my way through this feeling and be back on track. All part of the rollercoaster ride.
I think your description of a double edge sword is spot on, you want to detach for your own good but it brings with it altered feelings about your H.
Well just had my GAL bubble burst for tonight. I am going to the gym, then decided I am taking myself out to dinner.
H would have been at the gym and seen me go out dressed for dinner only knowing I was going out.
Just got an email saying there is a meeting after work due to the company finalising the purchase of a competition business, the deal finalised today. Oh well have to wait for Thursday's GAL night out now.
So even though I will go out, he won't know and I won't be getting home after him because he will be quite late.
What is it with these WAS, I dont/cant make up my mind about wanting you, but in the mean time they cant cope with you GAL or not knowing what you are doing? Well done Oz, you have got to go mysterious and keep at it now girl! Gucci's advice was spot on and it is so good to hear it from the guys side of things.. Hope you have a great evening and thanks for stopping by my sitch, your input is much appreciated
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
You go ((Oz)) - you are getting good at your answers but this time you must not do the backslide, OK?!!
I think that maybe we have just all reached 'that stage' with our H's nonsense. I'm sure that it's part of the roller coaster but I too have been feeling like "am I detaching or just don't care anymore"? ... who knows. Tomorrow morning I could be feeling as different as any one of us may ...
We have to hang on in there and, as I think Golf Girl stated - keep doing what we are doing but leaving the door ajar.
WAH 43; W 47 M 16; T 17 Cats 15 & 6 Bomb 27/05/09 ow 28/06/09
"It is only on the darkest night that we see the stars"
