Wow! I've been gone for 4 days visiting my daughter in her new home with no internet, so I missed all of this. I agree with the others, don't share the depth of the garbage. It is harmful. I remember you said that your wife's family talked aobut the one person who is not there when they get together. And you said your family is different. No they aren't. You just haven't been privy to your mother talking behind your back. So now you see it.
Your father sounds like the reasonable one who can explain to your mother that, as the mother, she needs to stop this behavior now. She is driving your family away and she can only end up hurting herself. So, if she wants to see your family in the future, she needs to get over it. Period. And all the siblings need to reinforce it. That is the message the rest of the family needs to convey to her. Sometimes people grow old without ever growing up.
