We have been through one separation. He had a consciousness of breaking the cycle...we were in counseling, he expressed regret and remorse...there was however a subtle implication that his guilt was pervasive and almost an excuse to give up on really succeeding as a couple. I don't know if that makes sense. I've read it on other threads...some Ss actually saying they themselves had screwed up too much and done irreparable damage etc.
Yep, if I understand you correctly I've been through all of that with the exception of separation. In hindsight, I think that my own guilt based on my perceived failure as a husband and father had me believing that there was no hope. I was unable to believe in myself and forgive myself. I haven't thought through the rest but perhaps I didn't feel that I deserved to be loved and as a result didn't believe I was loved. I know I didn't feel loved when I left.
But guess what? I get it now
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
